(Because “pakikisama” doesn’t mean sacrificing your peace)
Growing up Filipino often means walking on eggshells.
We’re taught to be respectful, humble, and family-oriented.
But somewhere along the way, that turned into over-explaining ourselves for simply choosing what’s right for us.
Here’s your reminder:
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing peace, growth, and boundaries.
Not even Tita Baby with 12 Facebook accounts.
1. Choosing Not to Get Married (Yet or Ever)
“Ayaw mo ba ng pamilya?”
Maybe you just don’t want to rush. Or maybe you want a different life.
Either way, it’s yours to live.
💡 Feeling pressured? Read The Defining Decade for clarity in your 20s and 30s.
2. Not Having Kids
Whether it’s by choice or circumstance, “wala pa?” is not a question that deserves an answer.
Parenthood is a path, not an obligation.
👶 Get empowered with Women Without Kids — a powerful read on choosing differently.
3. Living Away from Family
Choosing peace and space doesn’t mean you’re “ungrateful.”
Sometimes, the best love you can give your family is from a healthy distance.
🏡 Set boundaries kindly with Set Boundaries, Find Peace.
4. Turning Down a Family Obligation
Saying no to a wedding contribution, a utang, or an extended stay is not being selfish.
It’s having financial boundaries, which we all need to thrive.
📈 Learn how to say no while staying generous with The Psychology of Money.
5. Leaving a Stable Job for a Passion
“Sayang ang sweldo!”
But mental health is priceless. Choosing meaning over money isn’t reckless—it’s bold.
💼 Turn your dreams into a plan with this vision board starter kit.
6. Being Single During Reunions
Your worth is not defined by your relationship status, lalo na tuwing Pasko.
Your joy is valid, partnered or not.
❤️ Practice self-love with this guided affirmation journal.
7. Taking a Break From Church or Religion
Spirituality is personal. Questioning or seeking outside tradition isn’t disrespectful—it’s part of growth.
📚 Explore faith with open eyes through Faith After Doubt.
8. Going to Therapy
Yes, even if your Lola says “dasal lang sapat na.”
Mental health isn’t a Western concept. It’s human.
🧠 Start your healing journey with The Body Keeps the Score.
9. Prioritizing Your Career or Self-Care
You’re not “too ambitious” or “too selfish.”
You’re allowed to dream, grow, and rest—even before everyone else is happy.
🌿 Recharge with a daily habit tracker journal that centers your well-being.
10. Cutting Off a Toxic Relationship (Even if They’re Family)
“Blood is thicker than water” is often used to trap people in emotional cycles.
But healing sometimes means loving people from afar.
🔓 Free yourself from guilt with Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents.
💡 Final Thought
In Filipino culture, silence is respect.
But so is standing up for your peace.
The truth? You’re still mabait even if you set boundaries.
You’re still family even if you say no.
You’re still Filipino—even if you choose to live life on your own terms.
Live with integrity, not explanation.
Comments
2 responses
Setting any kind of boundary makes yourself questionable in the eyes of your family, relatives far and near. Most toxic is family finances comes first, it’s deemed an obligation even if that makes you emotionally and financially abused, you become another financial stream.
I get what you mean, and I really feel for you. In a lot of families especially in our culture setting boundaries is so easily seen as being selfish, when the truth is, it’s about protecting your own well-being. It’s even harder when money is involved, because the expectation to put family finances first can turn into emotional and financial abuse without people even realizing it. No one should be made to feel like just another source of income. It’s not selfish to say “I can’t” when giving is already draining you. What you’re feeling is real, and you’re not alone in going through this.